Night Drive
by Lord Rekhyt
Summary: We both knew it could never last, we had known from the beginning. It could only end badly, one way or another. Sterek! AU/AH


_**Disclaimer:**_ __Obviously, I don't own Teen Wolf in any way shape or form… Gah, I'm so sick of writing disclaimers.

 _ **Warnings:**_ __This is maleXmale, so if you don't like it, well, stop searching for it… and don't read this.

Based on the song Night Drive, by Jimmy Eat World.

 _ **Night Drive**_

A silence had spread throughout the building, and the light had begun to shift into hues of pink and orange, signaling that it was the end of another day. I could hear a few people in the offices around mine, saying goodbye for the weekend or making plans to get drinks, and I picked up a thin sheaf of papers, sliding them into my briefcase as someone stepped through the doorway behind me and stood there, watching me. I could feel eyes drilling a hole into my skull, but I pointedly ignored it, assuming it was Lydia. She had been trying to get me to meet her for a drink all week, wanting to set me up with her cousin, and I was running out of excuses to say no. When it became apparent that she wasn't going to leave, I sighed deeply.

"For the last time, Lydia," I said wearily, "I can't go out with you tonight. I have plans."

"What plans would those be?"

I froze in place, my blood somehow turning to ice and boiling at the same time. The voice that replied hadn't been high and female, but deep, gravelly, and very male. And not just any male, either.

Trying to act cool, I turned and looked up at the roguishly handsome state senator, but his grin disarmed me instantly, and I hoped that the fading light would hide my blush.

"I thought you were Lydia." I stated dumbly.

"I noticed." He replied, his smile making his green eyes twinkle like chips of jade. "How are things running here, Stillinski? Is everything still on track?"

For a moment I just stared at him blankly, caught up in his smile. His grin broadened, and I shook my head. "Yes, Senator Hale. We're still waiting on a few reports, namely from Lahey and Whittemore, and heaven only knows if and when I'll get them, considering that Jackson's always either out partying or trying to get into Lydia's pants, and Isaac is currently out sick, but who knows, maybe they'll surprise me."

Derek Hale chuckled, exposing his pearly white teeth. "How did you manage to fit all of that into one sentence, Stiles?"

"Lack of sleep, lots of Adderall, and plenty coffee..." I joked with a roll of my eyes.

Derek shook his head in amusement.

"So, Stiles…" His voice had dropped to a hypnotic, husky whisper, "Did you really have plans tonight? Because I was thinking we could take a drive up to our spot…"

My legs turned to jelly, and I could swear my eyes crossed for a moment. The logical side of my brain told me, as it did every time, to say no. But when he flashed that smile again my will crumbled away into dust. That smile could melt a puppy.

Derek raised an eyebrow, and I realized I hadn't taken a breath in a while. Gulping in some air, I attempted to reply. "Y – Yeah.. Say around six in the square?"

"Can't wait." He said in a menacingly seductive kind of way. Adjusting his tie a little, he spoke in a normal tone again. "Lahey can turn his report in late, provided he supplies a doctor's note, but tell Whittemore that if he continues to slack off I'm going to –"

"Tear out his throat with your teeth." I finished for him, grinning. "Got it." Derek gave me a bemused look and walked out of my office. Grabbing my briefcase I left too, wanting to get home and change into something more casual than a suit before meeting with Derek.

The square was quiet as I waited for Derek under a streetlamp, nervously fiddling with my sweater. I glanced up at the clock tower, since my watch was slow, and saw that he wasn't due for at least another ten minutes. It wasn't long, but those ten minutes were always torture for me. They had been from the beginning.

I would always tell myself to go home, to call it off with Derek. I thought of Braeden, his wife, and how she would react if ever she found out. She had always seemed really nice on the rare occasions that she showed up at the office, even though I knew that things were not that great between her and Derek. They had a daughter, too. And his career as a politician would be ruined if anyone found out about us. My reputation would never recover.

But then he would pull up and open the door for me and flash that smile, and it would pierce right through me and make me forget about all the 'ifs'.

But this time, as I waited in the chilly wind, I felt different. I felt resolved, though to what I couldn't tell. I thought about him, his life, and how I don't fit into it. I had the power to end it before we destroyed ourselves, but I didn't.

We both knew it could never last, we had known from the beginning. It could only end badly. But how badly depended on us. On me. If I ended everything before it got out, the only damage would be our feelings being hurt, but if I waited it could ruin us both.

No, I felt different. Confident, despite the pain it caused. I was resolved to end it.

Then he pulled up, opening the door and flashing that smile, and I felt my stomach lurch… I wasn't sure I could do this…

We were halfway up the mountain before Derek spoke, but maybe he'd been taking his cues from me; I hadn't said a word to him.

"You're unnaturally silent tonight." He commented quietly. "Is everything okay Stiles?"

"Just thinking is all." I replied, staring out at the darkening clouds above us.

"Now I'm really worried…"

I laughed, and Derek reached forward to turn on the radio. A great idea, because it could fill the silence, and I wouldn't have to talk. Wouldn't have to tell the man I loved that it was over. The song that was playing was one that I knew, and it helped calm me down a little. I could feel his eyes wandering to me every now and then, as if he could somehow sense my inner turmoil, but he didn't press the issue. I'd talk when I was ready.

As we drove further up the mountain, the clouds broke above us, deluging the road with cold, heavy rainfall. Derek slowed down, carefully navigating the increasingly slippery road, until at last we reached our destination. Derek pulled the car into the small grove of trees that overlooked the city, leaving the car on so that the heater would keep us warm.

It was a perfect moment. I could see the city lights in the distance, smell pine needles and loamy soil. The rain was ponding around us, lulling my senses, and I had Derek's warm body beside me. I let out a sigh of content, wishing that the moment would last forever. Nobody knew where we were, so we didn't have to go back, right?

Beside me, Derek moved, and when I turned to face him our faces were nearly touching. I stared into his eyes, feeling his breath against my lips…

"Aren't you worried about the car fumes building up in here and suffocating us?" I asked, saying the first thing that came to mind. Derek blinked in confusion for a moment before laughing out loud.

"Stiles, you truly are a unique creature. I love that I can never know what to expect when it comes to you. To answer your question, no, not really. Besides, it's so cold that we'd freeze to death without the heater."

"Over-dramatic much?" I commented, smirking and raising an eyebrow. Derek gave me a level stare and reached behind my seat, pulling out a bottle of wine and two plastic cups.

"Drink?" he offered, pouring some wine into the cups and handing me one. I took a sip, and Derek did the same.

"Are you sure everything is alright, Stiles?"

I didn't reply. I just looked out over the city again, wondering if he felt as awful as I did about our affair.

"Stiles?" Derek tried again, his voice low and sincere. I turned to him once more, willing the words to come out of my mouth, but I couldn't get them out. I couldn't say what needed to be said. Instead, I pressed my lips to his, tasting the wine on his tongue as it glided over mine. The smell of his cologne filled my nose, and all I could think was how badly I wanted him. My fingers found their way into his hair, deepening the kiss, and he shifted in his seat so that he was half on top of me. He removed his jacket, careful not to break our kiss, and I pulled him closer, feeling his hard muscles through his shirt.

When we broke apart for air, his eyes were dark with lust, his hair tousled and overly sexy.

"I brought some blankets with." He mumbled, nodding to the back seat. "For comfort."

I nodded and was already halfway out of my seat before my resolve returned to me, hitting me like a ton of bricks.

"No…" I whispered. "Derek, we can't do this…"

This was it, our final moments. There was no way out now.

"Stiles, I –"

I kissed him softly, trying to remain strong and not break down. "Derek, this, what we have, it isn't real. It's a borrowed life, a fantasy."

Derek's face had gone blank, as it always did when he was angry or hurt. "Like hell this isn't real, Stiles." He said a little angrily. "Did I do something wrong?"

"No, you didn't do anything." I said with a sigh. "But you're married. You have a daughter."

"I know that." He stated, looking away from me. "But I love you, Stiles. How is that wrong?"

"I didn't say that it was. But think about it; you could lose your family and your career if we get caught. It's not worth the risk."

"So now I'm not worth the risk?" he half yelled. "Easy for you to say, Stiles, you're not the one taking any risks here! I'm the one putting my life in jeopardy to sleep with my PR agent! "

That rattled me, and I instantly went on the defensive. "Not taking any risks? You think it wouldn't affect me if this got into the papers?"

"I don't know." Derek said petulantly, folding his arms over his brawny chest. "But since I'm not worth the risk, maybe we _should_ end this."

I slammed my fists against the dashboard in anger. "God damn it, Derek, that isn't what I meant! I love you, for fuck sake! I have since the day we met! But I don't want you to ruin your family, your career, and your reputation over me! Can't you see that's where we're heading?"

Derek said nothing. He kept his face turned away from me, studying the rain intently. When he did finally speak, his tone was colder, more withdrawn.

"So you want to pretend this never happened? Go back to your perfect, uncomplicated life?"

"You're the one with the perfect life and perfect family." I snapped nastily. "It's easy for you to try to make me look like the bad guy, but it's on you as well, buddy."

Derek's expression went stony, and I immediately regretted my words.

"That," he said slowly, "was a cheap shot, Stillinski."

Hearing him call me by my last name stung a little, and I shrank back against the leather interior.

"I'm sorry." I said. "You know I didn't mean that."

Derek nodded, but didn't say anything else.

"Derek, I'm not doing this to hurt you."

"Well that's not how it feels, okay?" he retorted vehemently. "Whatever."

I sighed again. "I need some air."

I opened the car door, magnifying the sound of the torrential downpour, and stepped out into the rain, trying to calm myself down. I hated that I was hurting him, but what else could I do? It had to end, didn't it?

Derek climbed out too, walking around the car and coming to a stop beside me. He didn't say anything, which I appreciated. He just stood there, our shoulders pressed together, while I gathered my thoughts.

"Do you feel bad for her?" I asked quietly, thinking about Braeden again.

"No." he replied simply. "I don't."

I turned to face him, my expression incredulous, but he held up a hand.

"She knows, Stiles. She's always known."

Even the sound of the rain faded away in that moment as I looked at him with confused disbelief.

"She – how?"

"She followed us, back when it first started. She knew I was up to something. Turns out, she doesn't care. She told me that she's been seeing someone else for a few years now. All she cares about is maintaining the _illusion_ of the perfect family. But I can't give her that. I'm in love with you."

I tried to keep up with where he was going with this, but I was having trouble getting around the fact that Braeden had known about us the whole time.

After a few moments, I gingerly took his hand in mine. "When did she tell you this?"

I couldn't tell if Derek was crying or not because of the rain, but his voice had become emotional.

"Last night. But it doesn't matter. I don't feel anything for her anymore. I haven't for a while. A divorce and change of career might be a good thing."

Now the meaning of his words struck me. "You'd leave her?"

"I don't love her. And she doesn't love me. I want to be with you, if you'll have me, but either way it's over between Braeden and I."

"You know I do." I said. "Come on; let's get back into the car."

I led him to the door, waited for him to climb in, then followed suit. I shut the door behind me and placed my hand on top of Derek's own, larger hand.

"Derek…"

"I don't want to lose you, Stiles." He said quietly. "I love you."

I leaned forward and kissed him gently. "Then you won't. It won't be easy, though."

Derek smiled, and in that smile I saw some hope for the future, possibilities that I hadn't considered before. I could see a light at the end of the tunnel, but for all I knew it was just the moon reflecting on his pearly-whites.

Like I said, that smile could melt a puppy.

 _ **XXX**_


End file.
